marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize