I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
