got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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