I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
