I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
