All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
