He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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