i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the day after is always just damage control
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
