Who did Billy Mays play for?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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