I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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