He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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