The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
