I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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