We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
