wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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