you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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