Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
