I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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