I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
