I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
