i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
