In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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