thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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