Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
