It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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