I just saw a hot homeless man
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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