Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
