He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
