Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
