we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
