loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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