Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Omg I joined a choir last night...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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