So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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