Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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