tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
