Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
