I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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