I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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