come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
