On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I understand Curling. That high.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
