if only i could text you this smell
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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