U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
