How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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