just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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