why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
