i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
