You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
