my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Drunk is not a location!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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