i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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