Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
