It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
