sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
