We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
