Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
