I wanna bring you to show and tell
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
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