is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize