I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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