I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
