I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
