Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
