and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize