don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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