you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
