She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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