I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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