This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
