Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
should my penis look like a turkey
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
50% drunk capacity currently
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
