Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
