How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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