just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
