Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
