are you still at the devil's house?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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