just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
