is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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