Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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