I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize