ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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