so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
